Zambian lawyer Naomie Pilula is standing firm in her self-confidence after receiving thousands of mean comments on a selfie she posted online. Despite the harsh reactions, she says she is unbothered and sees the negativity as a reflection of others, not herself.
In June, Pilula shared a photo on Instagram with the caption, “Happy Monday! The hair is hairing and the skin is skinning so I’m so happy!!!!! This is a Bantu knotout on freshly washed hair. So even though my hair is in dire need of a retire, it still looks cute. Here’s to feeling and looking cute.”
While the post carried a cheerful tone, it was quickly flooded with rude remarks. Some users wrote comments such as, “Lol she has a face only a mother can love,” and, “Honestly, speaking, don’t post a picture like that if you don’t want nobody to judge.” Another said, “I think I scrolled too far.”
Pilula later uploaded a video, which she eventually deleted, after it drew even more negative reactions, including mocking emojis and GIFs. Supporters, however, encouraged her to ignore the insults and focus on living her life confidently.
In a follow-up video, Pilula addressed the wave of online criticism directly. She admitted the mean comments initially shocked her and later angered her. “At first, I started deleting the comments, but then I got tired of it,” she explained.
Her sister’s advice helped her shift perspective. “She was just like, ‘You know what? You can’t control what people say. But what it triggers in you, and your response to it, is just a mirror showing you what’s inside yourself,’” Pilula recalled. She said this conversation encouraged her to reflect on why certain words had affected her more deeply than others.
Pilula acknowledged that her confidence has been built over time. “I was very insecure about my appearance for a very long time. Thank the Lord, I started liking myself,” she said. She also referenced scripture, saying, “I was reminded of the scripture about how we were woven together in our mother’s womb… every intricate detail even my features was something God put thought and care into.” She added that people who mock her “have an issue with God who created me.”
Speaking in an interview with People magazine, Pilula addressed the attention given to her nose, which she says resembles her father’s. “Why would I want to remove a feature that identifies me with my father? It doesn’t make sense,” she said. She emphasized that self-acceptance was a gradual process. “I won’t say that there was that one day where I woke up and I looked in the mirror and said, ‘Yes,’ but there was just one point where you looked at yourself and said, ‘I like the way I look.’ And once I arrived at that point, no one can take that away because they didn’t give it to me.”
Through her response, Pilula has turned a flood of negativity into a message about faith, family, and self-love.
